Aveline Is One Week Old

So this past Wednesday marked Aveline's one week birthday (so to speak) and boy, what a week it had been.

We had a lot of nursing issues this first week. Aveline bites hard during nursing and, aside from the pain, there were a lot of problems associated with this bad latch, none of which seem to affect Aveline, thankfully, and only affect me. But it has really made this first week more difficult than I ever imagined, honestly. Nate has been wonderfully supportive. He has really come through for me and for Aveline during this difficult period. Talk about taking a crash course in breastfeeding! Ugh. I think both of our moods would have been better had we had no nursing issues. It has been by far one of the hardest things I've ever gotten through, pain-wise, next to labor.

I have to remind myself though, when I am bleeding from nursing, and in pain, that these are quality problems, because without a baby, I wouldn't have them. And I am so grateful for her in our lives.

So here is a video where I look very haggard, but not as haggard as I did in the videos we took in the first few days, so I'm slightly willing to post it. Aveline looks super cute, though.

Aveline's First Outing!

So on Monday 2/7 we took Aveline to her first pediatrician appointment. As we were completely and utterly sleep deprived, we were running late. Here is the video of us on the way:

We were happy to hear that Aveline had gained back the 3 oz. she had lost, plus had gained even more, so those feedings I was doing every hour and a half were helping her grow and regain her strength after a tough first few days. The doctor said she looks great and is thrilled that her billirubin levels were back to normal, as well as her blood cultures. Yay for Aveline!

Aveline Grace enters the world!!

Such a joyous occasion, and one fraught with both concern and happiness as little Aveline makes her debut into this crazy world.

WARNING LABEL: Below is our birth story, and it is not all positive and glowy (some of it is, but not all of it), so if you have yet to have a baby and plan to, I suggest skipping the below blog and a few more before it, as I believe in focusing on positive thinking and positive stories before one endeavors on such an awesome and life-changing experience.

Here's the whole enchilada:

We got to the hospital around 3 pm and I was given Cervidil to induce labor around 3:30 pm on 2/1/11. Contractions started pretty much right away and were stronger than I had been having the prior week, which is expected with induction medication. I was told to lay in bed for the first few hours while they monitored the baby's heart rate with an external monitor attached to my belly. After about 3 hours, my contractions were strong enough that we called our doula, Shannon, to come to the hospital. I was feeling nauseas and, most unfortunately, had a migraine from the Cervidil (as if the contractions weren't enough) and wanted to get extra support. Dinner was served at 5:30 and somehow, even though I didn't order it, coffee came with my dinner. It helped the headache slightly, but made me more nauseas. Shannon showed up and right about that time, and the nurses said I could get into the shower (each L&D room was private and had its own shower with an endless supply of hot water - such a bonus!). Once I did, I felt some relief from the contractions, although my headache was still ridiculously bad. They would only give me Tylenol for the headache, and not even the extra strength version. POO! So I stayed in the shower for a few hours while Shannon and Nate took turns sitting right outside the shower stall and rubbing my back with essential oils. It was very helpful. The bouncy ball I sat on in the shower was also a plus. I highly recommend it to any laboring moms.

Our main nurse that shift, Anita (godsend), was able to monitor the baby while I was in the shower - she just moved the entire machine into the bathroom and put a Doppler up to my belly to listen to the baby's heartbeat. She was so nice and mellow, and I really was so grateful to have her on our team that night.

The Cervidil was removed after some 8 hours or so and my migraine finally started going away. At that point, it was recommended that I do some walking around, even though my contractions were pretty strong and rather brutal (this was some time in the early evening - probably 9 or 10 pm?). So we started walking the long corridor of the maternity wing. It felt like a marathon each time I made it to the end. I would pause at each contraction and lean on the railings, with Nate and Shannon giving me sips of coconut water and rubbing my hips and back as I said "Oh my God" for the millionth time.

This continued well into the night and next morning, and it is a complete blur to me as I really was just taking one contraction at a time. I couldn't believe that so many hours had passed when, the next morning at about 9:3o or 10:00, they said that they were going to break my water to speed things along. I was only 3 cm dilated and had been laboring for over 17 hours. Not the best progress, considering how gnarly my contractions were at that point. Dr. Evil came in and broke my water and manually opened my cervix another 1-2 cm (yes, it is as painful as it sounds). As soon as she broke my water, two things happened: they noticed meconium staining in the water, and my contractions went from really challenging to absolute torture. I couldn't believe the human body was capable of creating pain to that level (but I am reminded by Nate that I did have medication inducing me, and a doctor manipulating my body, so maybe those contributed as well). I absolutely begged for an epidural at that point, which had been so completely against our birth plan up to that point, that I had forgotten what the code word was to give to Nate. He said "if you really want the epidural, I need the code word". I couldn't remember it. When I finally did, I said it 5 times. He told me later that to see me in that much pain was extremely hard for him and that he knew I didn't ask for the epidural because I was being a wimp (not his words, but in so many). In fact, he supported me in doing so because it was clear that the kind of physical reaction I was having to those new contractions would have put undue stress on the baby. I was almost fainting with each contraction and could only writhe in pain and scream. I felt like I was dying. Now, I must say, before I asked for the epidural, I recalled reading that most women go through a point in labor where they feel that bad. It's called transition, and the baby usually makes its appearance about 30-90 minutes later in most cases. So I asked the nurse how much longer I would have to labor in that kind of pain, and she said "at least probably five more hours". It ended up being 12 more hours before our baby was born, so that would really not have been possible to labor under those conditions.

Once the epidural was placed, I started to feel immediate relief and actually took a 30 minute nap. I couldn't feel the contractions or my legs any more, so I asked for it to be reduced slightly, which took an hour or so to affect my body. Nate and Shannon got some much needed food and rest, and although I myself was starving, I was so exhausted (and grateful that my headache finally went away) that I didn't care too much.

Eight hours after they placed the epidural, they told me I was fully dilated and that I could start pushing. I was relieved that the end was in sight. Right about then, two new things happened: the epidural pump broke (started beeping really loudly right next to me) and I got a really bad case of acid reflux. Every time I pushed, I would be holding my breath and then bile would rush up my throat and cause me to lose my breath. It was more annoying than anything because I wanted to get the baby out ASAP. The anesthesiologist came and tried to fix the epidural pump and it kept breaking, so between pushes, Nate or Shannon would have to hit the reset button, call the guy again, and he and another person would come troubleshoot the machine right next to me (again, as I was pushing). So needless to say I was a bit distracted and it was hard to focus.

They never got the machine working again, and the epidural started to wear off as I was pushing, but I had enough of it to help take the edge off the contractions at least.

Right before I started pushing, Anita (back and on her next shift) told me that Dr. Evil, who had left to do an emergency c-section (big surprise!), might come back any minute and if I wasn't far enough along, she might suggest I have a c-section as well. Anita said that she has seen Dr. Evil tell people they have a certain amount of time to push and when the arbitrary clock runs out, so do their chances of avoiding a cesarean. So I pushed with all my might. When Dr. Evil did return, she was shocked at the progress I had made in just an hour and a half. I was thrilled at her surprise and felt waves of smugness between the waves of acid reflux.

At 10:08 pm on 2/2/11, Aveline Grace Erlin finally entered the world. Nate announced to me that it was a girl and I was in complete shock and awe that we had actually had a baby. I know it's hard to believe that I was still in denial that we were even pregnant, but 4+ years of infertility will do that to a person.

As soon as Aveline came out, Dr. Evil told Nate to cut the cord. I said to her that we didn't want to do that, because our birth plan stated that we wanted to wait until the cord stopped pulsing (if the baby is not getting oxygen through the lungs, the cord will continue to provide it - nature's way of ensuring that the baby stays alive if the lungs aren't functioning properly. If the lungs are good, it will stop pulsing on it's own in a few minutes). Dr. Evil said that the baby wasn't responding and that they needed to cut it now. So Nate did, and the NICU nurse, who we grew to despise more than Dr.Evil, took the baby over to the bassinet to clean her off. She was covered in meconium and was not moving as much as babies normally do when born. They called it "stunned baby syndrome". Aveline responded after the nurse (let's call her Nurse Evil), started rubbing her vigorously with a towel (something we asked them NOT to do in our birth plan). There is a video of her being rag-dolled by this nurse and left alone with no one touching her or consoling her (or wrapping her in a warm blanket) for what seems like forever, while the nurse got her tools together. It was sad to watch later on. I couldn't see from where I was in the bed at that time, and I don't want to post it here because it's too upsetting.

The nurse handed Aveline over to me after a few minutes of weighing her (6 lbs., 14 oz.), measuring her (19 inches), and rubbing her vigorously, and put her on my chest, skin-to-skin (finally!..something in our birth plan...maybe they read part of it). Aveline had meconium in her ears, on her neck and in patches all over her body. She then promptly passed more meconium as she was laying on me (which I didn't mind, because I cleaned it gently and carefully off of her, unlike Nurse Evil). She tried to latch and had a hard time doing so, but kept trying. After a few minutes, Nurse Evil came back and said that they needed to take her to run some tests. I asked if they could do the tests there with her lying on me and she said no. Dr. Evil asked Nurse Evil what kind of tests they needed to run and the nurse said "we need to do a gastric aspiration and a blood culture". This was because Aveline's temperature was 101 degrees, and anything over 100 they run a blood culture. The gastric aspiration (stomach pumping) was because Aveline had meconium in her stomach. :(

Nate went with Aveline to the NICU and didn't come back for over an hour. I was worried, so I asked Shannon to go check on them while I called family members and friends to tell them about Aveline's grand entrance. Shannon came back and said that they wouldn't let her in, but they were working on her and that Nate was by her side. Here is the photo she took from the hall:

When Nate and Aveline came back, Nate's face was white and he said, "You wouldn't believe what they were doing. They were like bumbling idiots with her". He said they had to put the tube down her throat and pump her stomach not once but twice because they took the first tube out before they got it all (and said "whoops" or something equally stupid). Then he said they couldn't find a vein to take her blood and poked her about 8 or 9 times to get one. He said it was absolutely terrible to watch and that he had gotten faint during it because he was so sick at how she was being treated. It was very upsetting to hear and I know now how much he downplayed it to not upset me more.

Aveline latched and breastfed for a while once they got back and I was grateful that she was able to at least get some colostrum. Nurse Evil came back in the room and said that Aveline tested positive for a bacteria in her body and that she was going to have to stay in the NICU anywhere from two to seven days. We were obviously very upset to hear that.

Around that time, we were moved to the postpartum recovery room where we would spend the next two days, and Aveline was requested in the NICU for her IV placement. I asked Nurse Evil if we could go with her and she initially said no. She then said that Nate had fainted the first time (which he hadn't, he just felt faint and asked for a chair), and that only I could come if I wanted. Now, I had been in labor for 31 hours, had been on the delivery bed for another 2 hours while I delivered the placenta and got stitched up, and now had to go with our new baby into the NICU to make sure she had support and love around her because the stupid nurse wouldn't let Nate go alone (which was fine in the end because the nurse clearly wasn't providing love and support to Aveline).

After some discussion, we decided to call the head doctor in charge of the NICU to ask if there was anyone else we could call to come take care of Aveline. So we spoke to the neonatalogist at home at around midnight to ask her why Aveline needed an IV (since the nurse couldn't quite explain it to us and was frustrated when we asked for her to do so) and to see if they had another nurse in the NICU that could give it to her - or anyone else. Nurse Evil clearly had some issues. The doctor said that Nurse Evil was the best nurse they had to do an IV and that not doing the IV could cost Aveline her life as the bacteria was known to be fatal. We didn't think of not doing the IV; we just wanted someone more "human" to do it. Since we were stuck with this lame nurse, we decided we'd best be getting on with it. She did agree to let Nate come, too, though, suddenly and inexplicably, so we could both support Aveline. I'm not sure what changed her mind but it was if she had never said no initially.

When we went into the NICU, I had to stand on one leg as one of my legs was still numb from the epidural. A second nurse (who was being trained by Nurse Evil) got us some apple juice so we could at least have something to drink, and it was exactly what I needed.

Aveline was then traumatized for the next 4 hours as they tried to find a vein for the IV. They bent her little hands down and held them tightly against her forearms (try this on your arm - not possible!!) while they looked for a vein on her wrists. Then, they would twist her feet and do this to her ankles as well, being completely rough with her like she wasn't human and couldn't feel pain. I kept stroking Aveline's hair and telling her how brave she was and how sorry I was that she had to endure that kind of ordeal. There were many times that she stopped crying and looked like she had fallen asleep (to which my psychologist friend said that she was suffering from serious trauma because her brain was checking out from the pain). The needles would be shoved in her arm where they "thought" a vein would be, they would pump in saline solution and watch her skin puff up from it, and realize that nope, they weren't in the vein, and try again. Each time they did this, the needle looked like it was going to poke through the other side like a safety pin in her arm. It was horrible to watch, and it went on for FOUR hours.

What's worse was how Nurse Evil was treating her and us. She was yelling at Aveline when Aveline was crying and saying to her, "You know, this isn't fun for me either, little baby!" and I'd say, "She is two hours old. She doesn't understand what she's going through - you don't need to yell at her. You have coping skills to handle this, and she hasn't learned any yet". I mean, seriously???? This woman gets paid and was trained to do this and she's yelling at Aveline as if Aveline shouldn't be crying?

Nurse Evil also had this fatalistic, quite dramatic attitude, too, and would throw up her hands in disgust and say things like, "She's shutting down!" and "Her veins are all dried up", to which our hearts would almost stop and we'd ask what that meant. Each time, it didn't mean what she had said, and we'd very politely ask her not to use language like that if it wasn't true. The nurse was so frustrated at one point (and mind you, we were EXTREMELY calm - so calm I can't even believe it, but we had to be calm for the baby and because we didn't want the nurse taking her frustration out on Aveline) - I asked her if there was some other place we could put the IV or some other way for her to get the medication. She was exasperated initially, and then admitted that yes, they could put the IV in her scalp since those veins were clearly visible. So I pleaded, "Then let's do that and get this over with for the baby's sake, please." Nurse Evil replied, "No, we need to try the arms and legs again first". It was like we were dealing with a person who didn't understand what pain was...like we were dealing with a psychopath. At one point during this time, she even looked up at me and out of nowhere she said, "You know, you don't have to feel guilty for this". I asked, surprised, "Why would I?". She replied, "I'm just saying, you don't have to". I just ignored her. I hadn't done anything to cause the infection, so I didn't really understand this left-field question. Nate and I just looked at each other and rolled our eyes when she wasn't looking.

At 3 am, I had to turn in and leave Nate and Aveline. I was so exhausted and had been up for nearly 48 hours at that point (45 if you want to be exact), and needed to leave so I could finally have a good cry as I had been holding in the tears the whole time. Nate stayed behind for the next hour until they finally got the IV in. He remarked after he got back to the room that they were so much more careful when I was there than they had been the first time they pumped her stomach and drew her blood. I shuddered to imagine how that would be possible considering how badly they were treating her.

The next morning, I got up to go visit Aveline at 7 am, and to nurse her as well, and the new nurse on shift then (Lainey) was a complete 180 from the nurse the night before. She treated Aveline like she was her own daughter. She touched her gently, spoke to her kindly and softly, and handled her carefully, as one should. I was so grateful to have Lainey there that I just hugged her and cried and told her about the night before. She apologized profusely for the other nurse's behavior and said that Aveline was clearly a brave little girl to be doing so well that morning.

Aveline's right arm was bandaged from hand to elbow, with her hand taped into a fist and tubes coming out of it where the IV was placed. Her other hand, her inner arms, her ankles, and her heels were bruised and marked from all the needle attempts. It was so depressing to see those and she had them for the first two weeks. However, Lainey fell in love with Aveline and even made her this really awesome sign for her bassinet (see below). Another NICU nurse said that she had never seen the nice nurse do that before, so she must have really gotten attached to Aveline in particular. Who could blame her? She was so sweet from the beginning.

Lainey even showed us (again, since we had a long night and would likely forget) how to change Aveline's diaper and how to care for her umbilical cord and what-not. Here is a video Nate took as we did this and he had Aveline suck on his finger for comfort. She's about 12 hours old here:

During those two days at the hospital, the postpartum and NICU nurses went above and beyond to help make up to Aveline how she had been treated before. Normally, babies in the NICU have to stay there and the mother has to go there to breastfeed, but the nurses kept bringing Aveline to our room and letting her stay for an hour or so each time after she was done nursing. It was so much nicer, especially because my tailbone was hurting pretty badly and they only had a wooden rocking chair in the NICU nursery for me to sit on.

On that note, I mentioned something to Dr. Evil about my tailbone and she said I probably just bruised it. The day we were to be discharged, I did some research online and found that sometimes women dislocate their coccyx and a good chiropractor or back doctor can put it back in place. Unsure if I had dislocated or fractured it, but sure I had done more than bruised it, the next day I asked Dr. Evil to order an x-ray so I would know for sure. She scoffed and said that she was sure I did nothing more than bruise it, and that even if I had done more, which she insisted again was improbable, an x-ray would do nothing because there was "nothing I could do" if I either broke or dislocated it. I told her that I wanted one anyway. She insisted that she would need to first do another pelvic exam on me, so I agreed. When she asked "does it hurt when I press here" and I yelped in pain before she had finished her question, she still said I was fine. I told her she didn't have to order the x-ray, but if she decided not to, I would go to Urgent Care and get one anyway. She finally, reluctantly agreed to "let me" have the x-ray and the nurse came and got me to wheel me down to radiology.

During the 3-4 minute trip over there, the nurse (can't recall her name at the moment) told me that pretty much every nurse at the hospital, with one or two exceptions, hates Dr. Evil. She went on to add that Dr. Evil regularly forces patients into c-sections and inductions by making up false medical reasons that would justify either. She also said that Dr. Evil is verbally abusive to our midwife, (her business partner for 26 years, or something like that) and is constantly putting her down and saying things to her in front of the nurses like "you're nothing but a midwife" and "maybe when you go to medical school like I did, you'd have a good argument there" - stuff belittling to her and condescending her. She said no one wants to work with her and when they do end up having to, they all dread what she is going to do to the patients. I wasn't surprised, but did feel like I had been victimized in some way by Dr. Evil. Maybe we are just another couple who she forced into a difficult situation so she could come out looking like the heroine. It is no secret that some doctors, especially some Ob-Gyn's, will create a situation that puts the baby and mother in distress so they can then save the lives of both and justify all the interventions along the way. Kind of like the once-in-a-blue-moon sicko fireman who starts a fire so he can heroically put it out.

At any rate, after the x-ray was done, I awaited the results. Nate had gone to work for an emergency meeting with some muckity-mucks (which was a big deal, so I had no problem with him going, even though he felt terrible about it), but that meant he unfortunately missed all the gossip. Right before he returned, Dr. Evil came by with results. She said, "You're fine. No fracture or anything like that". I was surprised to say the least (I know my body well...and it felt more than bruised). She then told me to think about birth control (!!) until I reminded her that Aveline was an IVF baby. DER! I mean...I know there is a remote possibility, but I am not even out of the hospital yet and you're already talking to me about this?

After she left, I couldn't shake the feeling that she was lying to me about the x-ray, especially given what the nurse had just said on the way to get the x-ray. So, I asked the same nurse if she could order a copy of the report for me, and she said, "Of course!" and went and made a phone call.

Later that day, we were formally given our discharge papers and Aveline was expected to be discharged as well. When the next shift's nurse came in (Monica) to ask me to sign the form, I told her I would do so as soon as I got the x-ray report I had been waiting for (which, at that point, had been all day). She said "No problem!" and went to get it. When she handed it to me, I couldn't believe what it said: "Positive for probable fracture", and "Discussed results with Dr. Teagle". I looked at Nate and Monica incredulously and she put her hand on my shoulder and said, "Good for you for listening to your gut", which was weird because I had just met her and hadn't given her any background on the situation whatsoever. Monica went on to say something about doctors who lie to their patients, and then she hugged me for a long time, while a mix of disbelief and validation coursed through me.

We left the hospital, baby in tow, shortly thereafter, at about 9 pm. It was AMAZING to bring Aveline home (after a brief visit to Starbucks down the street, which thankfully stays open until 2 am - yay!!). Since then, we have not had to worry about Dr. Evil. However, she may have to worry about us. Not sure if we're going to file a formal complaint or not, but we're considering it. Our main focus at the moment is Aveline so we will have to see how we feel in a few months.

Dr. Evil gets her way

So on 2/1, we went to our bi-weekly doctor's visit to have our fluid levels checked, and have another Non-Stress Test done of the baby.

We had argued with Dr. Evil for some time about the fact that we were refusing induction unless there was a medically necessary reason for it, and, well, she found one: slightly low fluid levels. It was a little suspicious to us how she measured the fluid levels because we had seen these measured many times before and she seemed to have a new method this visit. So when she mentioned that she wanted us to be induced (or in her words "We need to have this baby today, no matter what"), we asked for a second opinion on the fluid level front. So we got to the hospital to do the NST and she shows up and says that she would be doing the "second opinion" fluid level check for us with a second test. We explained that we wanted another person to do the test, and had been told that the radiologist at the hospital would be able to do one for us and she insisted that the radiology department there "doesn't know anything but broken bones" and would not be the experts at measuring fluid levels on an ultrasound. Now, mind you, these people are the experts at ultrasounds and other radiological devices, but she seemed to be convinced that she would do it better. We told her that the whole point of a second opinion is to have a separate set of eyes, and that even if we had been told that we had to be induced by our midwife, we would have asked for a second opinion. We said it was something we decided long before that moment - if any interventions were forced on us, we wanted a second opinion to ensure that they were medically necessary. She started ranting about how we didn't trust her (true) and that she knew she was the last person we wanted delivering our baby (also true) but that all she wanted was a "healthy baby and a healthy mom" and that we needed to let go of our need to control the situation. Ironic since she was clearly having control issues. Things got even more heated and I told her that with all due respect, I didn't need her to lecture me on letting go of control. If 4+ years of infertility and enduring the IVF process wasn't a lesson in letting go of control, I'd be hard pressed to find a situation that was. She then backed off a tiny bit and said that we needed to consider the fact that I wasn't dilating. I have had some problems with my cervix before, so it wasn't completely unheard of that we may need medical intervention in that area (like Cervidil, which is a medicine that is supposed to help dilate the cervix), so we were amenable to discussing it, but wanted to do so amicably. We asked her for a few minutes alone and we discussed it and called our doula. The nurse at the hospital told us that usually Cervidil is given in the evening around 9 pm, so that most of the early labor is done while the patient is sleeping. So we decided we'd leave the hospital and come back at 8 pm, to get the Cervidil placed at 9. Well, Dr. Evil told us that she wasn't letting us leave the hospital at all, let alone to come back in the evening because she "didn't work nights" (telling, no?). She and I battled it out for a bit and I was too worn down to even argue any more. I had been laboring for over a week, was fully effaced but not dilated, was emotionally and physically exhausted, and really didn't see the big deal 5 hours would make (was I wrong!!). So we came to a compromise that she would "let us" go home and pack but only gave us an hour and a half to do so. We had to be back at the hospital by 3 pm. We had been arguing with her since about 9 am that morning. I should add that to the labor timeline. Ha ha.

Anyway, here is the video diary of us leaving for the hospital after we packed and were getting ready to head over there. Not a fun moment for us. Dr. Evil got her way.

P.S. For anyone wondering "what's the big deal about getting induced?" I will add this:

I studied, practiced, and prepared in every way imaginable for a natural childbirth. I spent the entire pregnancy doing so. An induction increases the likelihood of an epidural by about 75% (contractions are stronger and more painful than naturally-occurring contractions) and increases the odds of a c-section by 50% - two things we worked so hard to avoid.

Waiting for baby, part 4 - the labor tincture

So yesterday we tried a labor tincture as prescribed by my doula and a midwife who was giving me over-the-phone advice. It worked for a few other people, too, so my friend Jenny (and her husband Dave) picked up a bottle for us at the hospital near their house. They were out of it at a few different other places where I had gone to pick it up. It did work, as my contractions got stronger and closer together and remained that way for the rest of the day, however, one of the ingredients in it (Black Cohosh and Blue Cohosh - can't recall which one) can cause high blood pressure, which it did in me. So after I took the tincture (half the dose as I was already having contractions naturally), we went over to the hospital to have a Non-Stress Test done. The baby hadn't been moving as much yesterday morning as it had been normally, so just to settle my nerves, we went over there. The baby was fine, by the way, just asleep, but my blood pressure was a bit high. So the nurses took it and took it and took it again until it went to a normal level and then told the doctor I was there, which was so nice of them. They knew that I didn't want to be induced and that Dr. Evil would likely force me to if my blood pressure was a teeny bit high (and it was only a teeny bit high). However, I was warned not to take more of the tincture lest this happen again to me. It was worth a try, as was everything we tried. Even if it did taste like the bottom of a hippie's shoe.

Waiting for baby, part 3

So, some background:

On 1/17, four days before our due date, we went to our midwife appointment and found out that she is going out of town for a few weeks the day after our due date. We were shocked for a number of reasons.

One: we asked her long before if she was planning on traveling in late January/early February and she said no. In fact, she added that she rarely takes vacations and had just gotten back from her first vacation in 6 yrs.

Two: The reason she is leaving was to help her daughter give birth who has the same due date as ours.

Three: She waited until 4 DAYS before our due date to tell us this.

Her backup is the Ob-Gyn that she shares a practice with. A woman we shall call "Dr. Linda Teagle, Evil OB". I will shorten it to Dr. Evil for time saving purposes. It is too late for us to change to a different midwife or doctor (we tried) as they will not take new O-B patients who are past 39 weeks (we are). So we basically are stuck. Which SUCKS. Had we known earlier what we know now, we would have set up meetings with another medical group and hospital.

However, we decided that we were stuck so we'd make lemonade out of lemons. We met with Dr. Evil and from the first meeting, she pushed induction on us as if her life depended on it (ours or the baby's didn't). She used the following scare tactics to try and get us to comply:

1) Stillbirth rates are "much higher" after week 39. When pressed to give us percentages at weeks 38 compared to weeks 39 and 40, she couldn't come up with any. Nate said "because if the regular rate is 0.001% and it goes up to 0.002%, that's an increase of 100% but it's still a very low risk". She scoffed and said "it's much higher than 0.002%, but I don't know what the actual percentages are". I would think that if you were going to spout off such a horrible word as "stillbirth" to parents awaiting their first child, especially those who waited 5 years and endured IVF to get pregnant, you might want to have your facts together first.

2) The baby or I might have blood pressure problems. True, we might. But we didn't. So why bring it up?

3) The placenta is calcifying. This is normal. She acted like it was a sign that the placenta was already useless and not supporting the baby. There were very small calcifications in the outlying areas of the placenta, but that doesn't mean that the placenta is not healthy. It's just showing it's age which is normal.

4) The baby wasn't kicking as much as it was "supposed to". Granted, she did this test in the morning, and the baby's sleep cycles were always quieter in the morning than at night. I was keeping logs of kick counts and the night before, the baby had over 20 kicks in less than 5 minutes (usually it takes an hour to get that many). So I'd say that the baby was sleeping and she would imply that "maybe something else was wrong". Since babies naturally have their sleep cycles reversed from ours, why would she assume something else was wrong when all indications were that the pregnancy was still perfectly healthy?

5) The baby is now too big for me to birth it vaginally. She quoted twice that our baby was "over 8 pounds". This did scare me until I talked to my doula, who assured us that they are almost always wrong, and considering how many scare tactics she was pulling out, we chalked this one up to another one. People give birth vaginally to 8 pound babies all the time. It wasn't like it was surely 11 pounds or something. For Pete's sake. (Update: the baby weighed 6 lbs, 14 oz at birth).

6) She kept quoting over and over: "All I want is a healthy baby and a healthy mom", to which we replied "We agree". Just because I want to wait until 42 weeks to induce (or induce if a health problem arose), doesn't mean that I don't want the same thing. She would use that line for everything - including suggesting a C-Section! Sorry. I am not as gullible as she had hoped.

There were more scare tactics, but I have forgotten the rest.

At any rate, we decided that in order to avoid any induction at 42 weeks, we'd try as many natural remedies as possible, which all have worked to efface my cervix 100%. Unfortunately, the dilating isn't happening. Which Dr. Evil is all too happy to mention each visit. She insists on doing exams even though I haven't shown any signs of dilation between visits. Annoying.

So, here is another video of us in labor (for the millionth time I think) but the contractions were much stronger this night. Unfortunately, they went away by the next day. So the waiting continues...

Our Attempts to Meet Baby Erlin

Well it's the end of the day on 1/23/11 and that means that Baby Erlin is 2 days past its due date. I know, I know. Due dates are merely estimates and only 4-5% of births actually happen on a due date, but I was at least hoping that something more would be happening by now. I mean, 40 weeks is a long time to be cooped up in there. I would think the baby would want some actual air at some point. But I've done my best to make it a nice, comfortable environment. Maybe I made it too comfy...

I have been having some real contractions but they are inconsistent at this point and irregular, so my body is just getting primed for the real deal I guess.

Anyway, here are some videos of us this weekend as we tried to coax the start of labor with all sorts of homeopathic methods (Castor Oil not ingested, though - merely rubbed into the belly, which is not easy to do since it has the consistency of molasses! Who knew?).

P.S. I make mention in the second video that we ate someplace embarrassing but I say that we'll say where later. I forgot to video us eating Cinnabon for dessert later that evening (Nate's first ever Cinnabon). We had dinner at the food court in the mall and got Cinnabon to go for later. We were trying to walk around as much as possible, and it had gotten cold, so we walked around the mall. We are still ashamed of our food choices that evening. :)